A friend in need is a friend indeed

A thought just crept up my mind regarding friendships. What is friendship? Whom do we consider as our best friend? Some may consider their childhood friends as best friends. I had heard in my college days that the friendships that you make in college days are there forever. Some consider people from their workplace or "family friends" as their best friends.
But if I were to look at my life, I see that my childhood/school/college friends are no where near me. With the coming of internet, the closest they can get is on my friends list on Orkut or Facebook.
Lets also consider some friends/relationships which are very close to our hearts. Like husband/wife, parents/siblings etc. They are there (mostly) during the time of need. But the problem is that they can also do so much for you. They are limited by their physical bodies. With the best of intention, they cannot give the real comfort that the spirit looks for. I dont mean to lessen their value by any means but just trying to make a point.

Lets look at what the Guru says about friendships and who should be considered a good friend. Guruji says that even I am looking for my friend. The quality that I look in my friend is:

aadh madh jo anth nibaahai | so saajan maeraa man chaahai
My mind longs for that Friend, who shall stand by me in the beginning, in the middle and in the end

To find a friend like this is difficult in this world as there are all kinds of people in this world who can hurt us, betray us, turn their back on us in the time of need. Guruji warns us that if we put too much trust on the worldly friends they have thier limitations and knowingly or unknowingly will not be able to help us:

mithr n puthr kalathr saajan sakh oulattath jaath birakh kee shaarahu
Friends, children, spouses and friends - none of them last forever; they change like the shade of a tree.

jeh maath pithaa suth meeth n bhaaee
Where there is no mother, father, children, friends or siblings
man oohaa naam thaerai sang sehaaee
O my mind, there, only the Naam, the Name of the Lord, shall be with you as your help and support.

Also there is a danger of being too attached to them:

suth banithaa saajan sukh bandhap thaa sio mohu batiou s ghanaa |
You take pleasure in your children, spouse, friends and relatives; your emotional attachment to them is increasing.

So Guruji says finds that the closest being who qualifies to be a true friend is God Himself cause no one has the quality of being by our side from the begining till the end. Once we have formed this relationship of friendship with God its easy to Love Him and worship Him for all that He has done for us:

saajan meeth thoon haa
You are my Friend, my Best Friend.
naam dhrirraae moon haa
Please, implant the Naam, the Name of the Lord, within me.
this bin naahi koe haa
Without Him, there is not any other.
manehi araadh soe haa
Within my mind, I worship Him in adoration.

jaa kaa meeth saajan hai sameeaa |
Those who have the Lord as their Friend and Companion
this jan ko kahu kaa kee kameeaa
- tell me, what else do they need?

oue hamaarae saajanaa ham oun kee raen
He is my friend; I am the dust of His Feet.
jin bhaettath hovath sukhee jeea dhaan dhaen
Meeting with Him, I am at peace; He blesses me with the gift of the soul.

meeth saajan sarab gun naaeik sadhaa salaamath dhaevaa
You are my friend and companion, the Master of all excellences, O eternal and permanent Divine Lord

So now we know that God Himself is our ONLY TRUE FRIEND. But does that mean that we dont need anyone on this earth to share our lives with? No Guruji says that friends, relatives and everything else is a gift of God and we should thank Him for that:


jeeo praan than dhan dheeaa dheenae ras bhog
He gave you your soul, breath of life, body and wealth; He gave you pleasures to enjoy.
grih mandhar rath as dheeeae rach bhalae sanjog
He gave you households, mansions, chariots and horses; He ordained your good destiny.
suth banithaa saajan saevak dheeeae prabh dhaevan jog
He gave you your children, spouse, friends and servants; God is the all-powerful Great Giver.
har simarath than man hariaa lehi jaahi vijog
Meditating in remembrance on the Lord, the body and mind are rejuvenated, and sorrow departs.
saadhasang har gun ramahu binasae sabh rog
In the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, chant the Praises of the Lord, and all your sickness shall vanish.

So the next important step is finding good friends. Now lets look at how Guruji teaches us to find friends on this earth. He says that people who inspire me to be close to God are my best friends and relatives.

saajan bandh sumithra so har naam hiradhai dhaee
He is a companion, a relative, and a good friend of mine, who implants the Lord's Name within my heart

oue saajan oue meeth piaarae
They are my companions, and they are my dear friends,
jo ham ko har naam chithaarae
who inspire me to remember the Lord's Name.

so saajan so sakhaa meeth jo har kee math dhaee
He is your friend, your companion, your very best friend, who imparts the Teachings of the Lord.

In todays world it has become very hard to discuss "religion" with our so called "friends". Its considered inappropriate, as we become so hard-lined in our views to discuss "religion" that we feel uneasy to bring up this topic lest we may be considered some sort of fanatics. And thats one of the reasons we find the wrong kind of friends around us. In the olden days people used to share their beleifs and their Love for God openly without really bothering about offending each other. In todays time we need to be more open to each other to share our beleifs. Statements like "Salvation can only be acheived by following XYZ" adds to this differnece. Bottomline is that Salvation cannot be acheived without a Guru. Now it doesnt matter weather your Guru is Krishna, Raam, Jesus, Nanak, Mohammad, Sai Baba, Osho or Ravi Shankar.

kahu naanak gur bin naahee soojhai har saajan sabh kai nikatt kharraa
Says Nanak, without the Guru, he cannot understand the Lord, the Friend who is standing near everyone.

So lets all make God/Guru as our best friend and also seek the company of people who inspire us to do good, help each other out and become satsangis and walk together on the Path to Oneness.

saajan meeth sakhaa kar eaek
Make the One Lord your friend, intimate and companion.
har har akhar man mehi laekh
Write in your mind the Word of the Lord, Har, Har.

HAPPY FRIEND FINDING!!!